Guy Fieri Fights the Sads

Television with me: streaming free Food Network episodes of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.


Should I actually get Sling so that I can watch Food Network endlessly during quarantine? My soul is tired and I love Guy Fieri and his ridiculous hair. Nothing makes me smile more than hearing this absurd man cheerfully announcing that something is "off the hook" or "so money." He's an American treasure. Just imagine people in other countries watching Guy Fieri and thinking that we are all prancing around with stupid hair in stupid cars saying stupid things... oh, he's wonderful. I mean that from the bottom of my heart, I really do.


I don't care how controversial this opinion might be: I love Guy Fieri.


And if you didn't know this already, Guy Fieri must always keep his hair the way it is. Always. Because the internet has provided us with a photoshopped picture of what a "normal hair" Guy Fieri would look like, and it is not okay. Ridiculous Guy Fieri FOREVER.


Let's be honest: does anyone look like they are having more fun in life than Guy Fieri? Is there anyone who looks like he is being more unapologetically himself than Guy Fieri? We could all take a page from his book and embrace whatever weird stuff we love and do it without apology. Even if that weird stuff is bleached, spiked hair at age 52.


I could pretty much watch him forever.


But maybe sitting and binging Food Network isn't healthy? What is healthy during quarantine? Good question! I don't think any of us know! And that's okay. If anything, that's the most important thing. It's okay to not be okay.


I mean, eventually I'm going to run out of free episodes to stream. And maybe that is God's way of saying NO MORE. But maybe that's also God's way of saying... just spend the money and enjoy yourself. Can I get a clearer sign, please?


There is a comic that I like called "oh boy i am sad" because it so perfectly captures these basic human feelings of being adrift, anxious, and disconnected. I always like it, but I like it even more now during quarantine because this is just... the whole country right now. It's funny because it's true. (Maybe my sense of humor is a bit weird. I like Guy Fieri and sad things.)


Guy Fieri helps the sad feeling. A little bit. A lot a bit!


We should celebrate Guy Fieri more. He connects us all! Guy Fieri Bluetooth, bonding us all in surfer dude haircuts and ridiculous phrases.


PS: If I ever met Guy Fieri, I would hug him and tell him he's a national treasure.

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